Sorry, (I’m) not sorry
“Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray.” ― Rumi
This past week I have disconnected, swam in the ocean and really looked within to find out what is going on. I was not happy, I have gained 6kgs out of no where, I was miserable all because I wanted to keep peace and fit in. I stopped listening to my heart. My flow was completely blocked. Anger, like real anger began to show and disbelief that I let myself get back here. Why? All because I wanted to fit in and to keep the peace.
It has frustrated me greatly that I let one person stop me from doing what I love just because I wanted to keep the peace. I stopped writing because I was told I embarrassed someone in my family by what I was writing. I was told that person felt uncomfortable and didn’t understand why I would write openly and share my experiences.
I stopped writing, I stopped creating, I stopped being all because I wanted to keep peace and not make this person uncomfortable. I allowed someone else take my power of my thoughts and actions. Dammit! It is the whole reason I wrote my picture book. ‘Hey Frankie’ is because I am different, I am unique and I am not here to just fit in. By not doing what makes me happy and following my heart I found myself in an all familiar spiral of anxiety, weight gain, panic attacks and the welcome back of the inner critic. FFS! I spent two years cleaning this out, setting boundaries, saying no all for it to come back for one last show down! And it is the last because I will never let myself get wrapped up in people pleasing again.
I am sorry if I have every made you feel uncomfortable by what I have written. If you feel uncomfortable talk about it to someone or even me. There are millions of people on this planet and each one of us has a different journey. I choose to write about mine to inspire others. But I am not sorry for sharing my stories, journey with you.
I am more in tuned with me than ever before and last year I made I said no to things that weren’t right and were not what my heart wanted to do. This hurt me and people and I was made to feel very isolated
I am a creative being, who loves creating, educating and inspiring others.
Love means not ever having to say you’re sorry. – Erich Segal