I maybe little but I am most certainly not insignificant.

I may be little but I am most certainly not insignificant.

As I walked yesterday, and much of this week to be fair, I have been really playing with the word purpose. Over and over again my thoughts, ideas, conversations, agreements and disagreements, all came back to, purpose.

Over the last couple of weeks, I have gone through such a huge energy shift. Things I thought impossible, were suddenly possible. Ends being tied up and all of a sudden I have the capacity to breathe and think for the first time in my life. Thinking big, creative, juicy thoughts, ideas but right now I’ll settle for… What is my purpose?

I have spent 31 years of my life either with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and in a state of automatic fight or flight response, it’s such a long time, and I am grateful for my ability to fight because PTSD recovery phase is an actual thing and I am so happy to be in it. I can’t tell you just how exhausting extreme alertness or hypervigilance is or even sudden overwhelming feelings of anger, sadness, guilt or shame is. Feeling like you can’t trust anyone, feeling like nowhere is safe, feeling like nobody understands you and most of all blaming yourself for what happened. A rollercoaster of multiple traumatic memories, daily life have made it really hard for me to actually express affection, emotions or even be authentic in who I am, yet with support over the past years I have worked hard to find me. Like my true self, like the little girl I remember I was. I finally have the capacity to think and not worry. No more worries!

So as I sat beside the little toadstool yesterday, I started to define what my purpose is moving forward? 

  • To serve
  • To give
  • To create
  • To share
  • To bring joy 

Those came fairly easily, then, it is my purpose:

By sharing my story in a positive, creative, meaningful and enjoyable way, I am able to create a space where everybody feels loved, supported, safe so they can find their inner joy.

Then again…

To create, embody and embrace joy in everything I do.

Really at the end of it it’s simple unless it is filling me with absolute joy, it’s not for me. Joy which is colourful, electrifying, creative, spontaneous, fun, inspiring, respectful and honest. A life lead with my purpose and a heart filled with joy.

Buckets of love and Joy,

Sarah

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