Stillness. I can forget (sometimes) or I take it for granted that the simplest form of beauty is self care and the self love which is formulated in my morning routine. Over the last seven years, she has been my anchor into my present moment, the start of my day and the centering of my axis. I don’t even know how I was before? Actually, I do I was a total DQ or better known as a Drama Queen with no respect for my body or mind, thriving off drama with no self love for myself. But I knew that wasn’t a true reflection of me or my true self. It was a cover, a coping mechanism and just a loud fabricated mask, with a fake smile painted on.
Slowly, I followed my heart, my gut, invested, traveled and learnt (still learning) about the ancient practises of meditation, yoga, qi gong, colour and sound therapy and integrated them into my own life and subsequently my classroom. It was through compassion, understanding and kindness that I learnt to love myself, no easy task when I hated myself.
In reflecting this morning, I have come a long way and maybe I do take this morning routine for granted. I sit most mornings for 24 minutes or a Ghaikia in Vajrayana tradition. This time which is considered an ideal meditation time because it is the time it takes for the subtle energies to do a full body circuit. Though I do enjoy two Ghaikias when I can. I remember my first experience with meditation, I couldn’t sit still for more than a minute. Listening to Sarah Powers all those years ago, it is practise, time and a little bit of discipline which has built this practise.
Today, I miss the rings of the local temples, the intoxicating smell of the incense, the monks with their alms bowl and being a witness to simplest form of presence.
“To be fully alive, fully human, and completely awake is to be continually thrown out of the nest. To live fully is to be always in no-man’s-land, to experience each moment as completely new and fresh. To live is to be willing to die over and over again. ” – Pema Chödrön